aaaaaaaa ^[44] – n. lonesome duty of carrying someone else’s story after their death:

Whenever she resented the weight of her aaaaaaaa ^[44], she gathered strength from the memory of Nadezhda Mandelstam who memorized all of her husband’s poems (including the ones he wrote for his paramours). Nadezhda mentally repeated each text for decades until his poetry could be published. She couldn’t help but wonder, though, if Nadezhda was ever plagued by aaaaaaaa ^[31] or possiblyaaaaaaaaa^[36] towards Osip.