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aaaaaaaa[80] – n. person who loses a spouse and at least one child, including an unborn child, in the same horrific event:

He wished that he could easily explain to people that he was a aaaaaaaa[80] instead of a widower so that people would be less inclined to offer aaaaaaaa[17]s about how lucky he was not to have children.

anti [185]

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antiaaaaaaa[185] – n. place where grieving is not accepted, comfortable, or safe:

After reading the aaaaaaaa[49]’s  tweet about how so much of the world felt like an antiaaaaaaa[185], she wanted to create city maps identifying all the aaaaaaa[185]’s. Imagine how lovely it would be to look up directions to the nearest aaaaaaa[185]on your phone when something aaaaaaa[12]s you in a public place.

installation based illustration available here


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aaaaaaa[185]– n. place where grieving is expected or where it is safe and comfortable to grieve:

When they happened upon a memorial for David Bowie outside his home on Lafayette Street, they appreciated having a aaaaaaa[185] both to aaaaaaa[59] and to simply let their own sorrow for other losses surface.

installation based illustration available here


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          [64]  – v. to author your own obituary:

She           [64]ed to ease the burden on her son who struggled to write confidently even under the best of circumstances.


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aaaaaaaa[6] – n. funeral or memorial ceremony for multiple family or community members:

Identifying thoughtful speakers who could offer            [4]s instead of aaaaaaa[77]for their aaaaaaaa[6] felt much more complicated than organizing her wedding.


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aaaaaa[4]– n. eulogy that evokes the uniqueness of the deceased:

The first time he heard a aaaaaa[4] instead of a aaaaaaa [29], he was astounded by its ability to make his own grief seem more logical and how connected he felt to the other mourners.


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aaaaaaaa [166] – n. unsolvable puzzle left in the wake of a tragedy:

When his wife left the house that morning, her last words were, “I will be your substitute today.” For the rest of his life, he wrestled with the aaaaaaaa [166] of wondering if his wife had some premonition that she would die and he would survive the bombing of Hiroshima.

illustrative haiku by guest artist, Mark Dimor, available here


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aaaaaaaa[123]– v. to draw strength or comfort from the memory of someone who has died by wearing the deceased’s clothing:

The  aaaaaaa[49] realized that he wore the same sized shoes as his son when he picked up his son’s belongings from the school. While he could not aaaaaaaa[123] the shoes his son was wearing when he was killed because they were aaaaaaaaa[86]ed, he began to select other shoes from his son to aaaaaaaa[123] on aaaaaaaaaaa[114]s, to meet with families of other school shooting victims, and to advocate for laws to prevent similar tragedies.


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aaaaaaaaaaa[114] – n. (usually plural) holiday, anniversary, or other annual event that becomes unbearably painful because of someone’s death:

The widow told her that early June was overloaded with aaaaaaaaaaa[114]s, the anniversary of her husband’s death, their wedding anniversary, and Father’s day. 


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aaaaaa[61] – v. to die en route to someone else’s funeral

The aaaaaaaa[49]grief was compounded by the additional loss of three elderly relatives from out of state who aaaaa[61]ed on the way to their child’s funeral.